P/S: If you don’t have ‘history’ in your life that you are not proud of? Well, this post is not for you.
Nota di atas berbaur sengal. Well, if you don’t have one, you’ll end up being a judge about a situation which you are never in to. A situation which you can never relate to it. You never will.
Aku pernah menulis berkenaan The Ugly Truth dalam previous post aku. There I mentioned about the acceptance of the ugly truth. Can we honestly accept the truth when it is too ugly? People said truth hurts. True, only when the truth is ugly. It hurts so bad that some of them find difficulties in keeping the ‘ugly truth’ of themselves. Don’t tell someone to be honest or even worst by telling that person that you’re gotta be there for them but at the same time, you are being judgmental about others. Everyone makes mistakes. But it’s up to them to choose what kind of person they want to be today for the sake of their future. Well, at least that’s what they said.
So, how many of us can accept someone’s mistake or dark history? How many of us can truly acknowledge someone’s apology and guilt? And accept it for the betterment of that person. How many of us choose not to give up when the person still making the same mistake with the believe of hope. Believe that everyone can change. Believe that God never give up on us. Believe that there is goodness in all mankind. Because sometimes human make the same mistakes out of their own control or stupidity. But people, let them free to choose. Even if it means letting them making the same mistake again. Because maybe, just maybe they have to go through the same journey in able to learn the lesson well. Even God keep testing us for the same trials when we keep failing for the same trials. Don’t you see? We’re walking on a different journey but with the same destination. The betterment. Don’t try to fix them when they’re not ready. Don’t try to pick up the pieces behind their back. Just love them.
After the process of healing, you know what’s the worst thing that will happen? When you are fully healed, people went digging up your ‘history’ and make it a live show! As if you’re still doing that same fucked up mistakes. Seriously people, don’t be the person that causes those ‘sinner’ to be sin again. If you can’t accept their repentance. It’s totally fine. But to go dig and put it into a live show? That is the cruelest thing. That is judgmental! It’s because these kind of attitude that makes those sinner keep sinning again. Because nobody will believe and support their change to become better. Change takes time. Nobody knows how long it will take. Just never give up on human. And for God sake, never judge someone without knowing the whole story. You may think you understand, but you don’t! Counting other people’s sin doesn’t make you a Saint.
When someone is in this kind of situation, everyone will rush into the scene of #savingher. And these I said in my post of Kekuatan. It’s comforting to know that we are not alone and we have those loved ones. But please read my last paragraph in that post – be there only when needed because time and spaces will heal.
Time and space are two crucial things in healing and especially in finding back yourself, the inner strength within. That strength that we struggle everyday by saying “get it together babe! Everyone feels like this sometimes. Don’t give in! Grow up!“. That comforting line that makes us tell everyone that “I’m fine” and we threw a big smile and crack tons of jokes just to hide the fucked up mess within us.
Time and space – give the person time and space to be alone. To be sad. To cry. To reflect, to heal and the most important thing – to decide their own journey. Even if it takes too long, years and years, give it to them still. Because they are entitled for it. Because by giving these to them means letting the process taking place in its own time and space. Sometimes, they make the same fucking mistakes during the journey of healing. And hell no, they are not repeating it for another time purposely. Maybe they’re just trying to figure a way out of it but still end up at the same road. But then again, let them take that journey. Either the journey has been taken or not, let them walk that journey. Some people learn about their mistakes through the journey life. Some just merely through the theories of life.
If you think it takes a long time for them to heal, let me tell you this – nobody wants to be in the same shit hole for long. Nobody. Period. But in some situation, you just have to let the person find their own way back home. What can you do? Be there only when needed. And yes, you will only be called when they trust you. Don’t ruin that trust.
Final note: It’s okay to judge us. But remember to be perfect for the rest of your life. Peace out!