Things Unsaid

When things get awfully tiring, seek for silence. 

Because most of the time, the loudest lesson is found in the most quite corners of our lives. 

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time but also to leave the wrong things unsaid at the tempting moment.

P/S: Kalau aku diam, kau kena hadam. Kalau aku hadam, kau better diam.

Asep Syaeful ImanĀ 

Hati tetiba tergerak to write about him. Been knowing him since 2013 from afar, he always try to be there for me even though he’s not here with me physically. Dia salah satu sahabat terpilih aku, Asep Syaeful Iman. Dia bukan type lelaki yang cuma sweet talker atau cuba menjaga hati ku kalau aku buat silap. He ever said this to me “you are the most idiotic person” when I keep making mistakes for sticking with a wrong man. Bukan sebab dia mahu aku tapi sebab dia mahu menyelamatkan aku. 

You know when you can never hide or lie to your own true friends. He is one of them. Even by afar (dia orang bandung), he can always know that I’m not alright. Even when I say “I’m ok”. He would say “you’re a bad liar”. I always ignored because I thought what can be done by being afar. But I was wrong, he always be there to tell me the words I need to listen, not the words I want to hear. 

Orang selalu fikir kalau seorang lelaki dan perempuan tidak akan dapat menjalinkan merely a friendship. But he proved me wrong. Well, some of my true friends proved me wrong. For example Kamarul Hafiz Tang too. 

So yea, thanks Apep for always be there for me. Stood by me during my ups and downs. Hope to see you soon.  

He said this.

Kita tidak kehilangan sahabat, kita hanya belajar mengenali mana sahabat yang sesungguhnya. Sebab sahabat adalah keluarga yang dipilih.

He is my keluarga yang dipilih. Signed off.

Let It Go (Bukan Frozen)

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Trying to fit your hand inside of mine

When we know it’s just don’t belong

There’s no force on Earth

Could make it feel right.

Trying to push this problem up the hill

When it’s just too heavy to hold

Think now’s the time to let it slide

So, come on, let it go.

Depression

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Rest In Peace Chester

Kematian beliau mengingatkan aku berkenaan post Kekuatan aku hari tu. As I told, people will never understand your struggles because they are never on your shoes. Depression isn’t easy to bear.

Post ini bukan untuk mengenang kematian beliau. Tetapi untuk mengenang ‘hidup’ nya beliau dalam hidup aku. I knew the band called Linkin Park (LP) when I was 15 and started to go insane about them since 2002. It’s almost 15 years of insanity.

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Cerita awal bulan ini. See, how we missed him even before he left.

Mengenang waktu remaja aku, aku merupakan die-hard-fan LP sampai tahap aku tidak membenarkan anak-anak buah aku mendengar lagu lain kecuali lagu LP sahaja. Sehingga menghabiskan duit beratus ringgit hanya untuk membeli poster LP dihadiahkan kepada anak buah aku , Ayie. Anak-anak buah aku dibesarkan dengan lagu-lagu LP. Sampai tahap Ayie minta piercing di telinganya, just like Chester. No, he didn’t get it because he’s a muslim. Haha!

Aku banyak belajar Bahasa Inggeris dari lagu-lagu LP because I wanted to sing along and sing like them. So yeah, thanks LP. Thanks to you Chester.

Asep Syaeful Iman kata “LP is no longer LP without Chester”. You will be missed, all time, Chester.

Bagi yang masih mencari kekuatan dalam mengharungi dugaan / depression, seek for help. I found mine. 

Okay la, aku nak keluar lepak sat. Bersama kesayangan. Signed off.

Project 2017

Starting July 2017, kepala aku akan fully occupied dengan dua hal (selain hal kerja dan rutin la).

1. Pengisian rumah bujang ku. I bought 2 years ago. Tapi tak pernah urus. Jangan tanya mengapa. So, aku dah start benda asas. Otak sekarang fikir part ruang tamu, makan dan katil. Project ini maybe akan ambil masa sampai 2 tahun. Tengok bajet aku la. Nama juga rumah bujang, so kena la taste sendiri. Nama juga taste sendiri, mestilah ada harganya. So kena lah perlahan. Slow and steady.

2. Solo travel. Ini adalah one of my bucket list. Dah dekat 3 tahun tidak travel. Akhirnya, aku dapat plan travel aku. Kalau aku punya travel, memang backpacker ja. Maklumlah, bujang. 

Moga semuanya dipermudahkan. Finger crossed.

Emptying My Boxes

Whatever it is, if it doesn’t make you happy, walk away, give it away to someone else who wants it. Let it be their next dream; let it flee from you. You’re emptying out your limitations when you do that. Then you have room to grow, to allow magnificent things to fill the vacuum of those seemingly empty places. When you hold onto yesterday, when you hold onto dead and dying adventures,  you have no room in your box for greatness. 

 ~Ramtha

Just when I empty my boxes, you came in to fill with greatness. Thank you.