Happy Birthday Popo!!

Aku kenal dia sejak tahun 2010, waktu aku first posting di sekolah tempat aku mengajar sekarang. Dia kawan kepada kakak aku, Juli. Tapi waktu tu aku tak kawan sangat dia sebab dia pernah kerek dengan aku. Time tu aku kena ambil tandatangan semua guru di sekolah (ni salah satu assignment guru baru, it’s like ice-breaking with the teachers in school la). Waktu aku nak ambil tandatangan dia, dia jawab “I’m busy now”, terus jalan tinggalkan aku. Monolog dalaman ku? Kumpao nya. Bila Juli informed aku yang dia ada kawan di sekolah aku bekerja, aku jawab “dia tu? kumpao ya. minta tandatangan ja pun kerek. Pengetua sibuk pun sempat lagi stop sign for me kot”. So akhirnya dia adalah guru terakhir yang sign for me. I don’t remember how I get her signature. Moment tak penting kot. haha.

We were just colleague until on the 2011, kami ditugaskan (dengan berat hati) untuk menghadiri kursus guru-guru Kristian di Kota Kinabalu. Tempat tinggal yang disediakan adalah dorm. (ini bukan tugas rasmi, so no fancy place to stay). First question kami tanya ialah, how are we going to sneak out at night if we stay in the dorm? Sure semua orang tahu kita keluar huha. Kami nak privasi. So I called the church and told a lie. The reward of a lie is sweet. Me, popo and grace (team dari sekolah kami) get to stay in a fancy apartment of 3 bedrooms, fully furnished. Just the three of us. So popo asked me how can we get an apartment (actually tu tempat tinggal bagi para paderi dari luar) and yet everyone stayed in the dorm? I told her the lie. I told the organizer that my colleague has this sleeping disorder so she couldn’t stay in a dorm where many people were in. So yea, they gave us an apartment. It’s sweet lie. Popo laughed out loud even though people thought she’s ‘sick’. And that’s how our friendship started.

Seperti sahabat-sahabat sejati aku yang lain, popo juga merupakan “sahabat terpilih” aku. Orang luar nampak dia adalah orang yang pegang pada prinsip ‘hitam adalah hitam, putih adalah putih’, tegas and hard to communicate. But only few knows that she accepts and embrace the line in between black and white, hatinya ada theme park, she talks alot (seriously, more than me, half of the time) and many many more. She only shows that side of her to a few and I’m glad she shared that and all sides of her to me.

I never write about her because the spaces aren’t enough for me to write everything that she has done for me and even my family. You know there are friends, there is family. Then there are friends that become family. She is family. Happy Birthday!

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Shower Machine

I was on the phone with Matt tadi chatting about all sort of things. We ended our conversation saying we gotta go because we haven’t took our shower. And that reminds me of our conversation back in campus life. The scene was me after back from work late at night. (aku buat part-time job during my study. Al-maklum, me bukan dari keluarga berada, aku duk jauh study, kalau takde duit, aku tak mampu call back home minta mak bapak kirim duit. Choosing to study in West Malaysia is my decision, so kena sendiri pandai survive la)

 

AkuTinaLah: Babe, malas nya nak mandi.. Kan bagus kalau ada machine yang boleh mandikan aku. 

Mattlessa The Great: Pergi blok sebelah.

AkuTinaLah: Engkau genius.

 

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Hostel aku cuma ada dua blok, blok perempuan dan blok lelaki. 😉

Matthlessa The Great

Bila aku tidak letak gambar muka sendiri di Whatsapp, dia akan kutuk aku insecure, dah hodoh. Sebab tu tak nak tayang muka. Bila aku tak update gambar di Facebook, dia tag team dengan Aswar kutuk aku low self esteem. Dah hodoh. 

Today, she texted me this.

Kalau aku tak tayang muka, dia cakap aku insecure sebab dah hodoh. Kalau dia tak tayang muka, dia cakap dia insecure sebab naif. 

Kalau jadi kat aku, semua yang buruk. Kalau jadi kat orang, keburukan itu terjadi atas sebab musabab yang munasabah. 

Anyways, congratulations babe. I am proud to have a bff/family yang gelar Saintis. You finally graduate your master in pharmaceutical field after 4 years of research in Universiti Sains Malaysia.

P/S: Kalau Nak tengok muka naif aku bersama beliau, sila klik Matthlessa The Great 

Things Unsaid

When things get awfully tiring, seek for silence. 

Because most of the time, the loudest lesson is found in the most quite corners of our lives. 

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time but also to leave the wrong things unsaid at the tempting moment.

P/S: Kalau aku diam, kau kena hadam. Kalau aku hadam, kau better diam.

Asep Syaeful Iman 

Hati tetiba tergerak to write about him. Been knowing him since 2013 from afar, he always try to be there for me even though he’s not here with me physically. Dia salah satu sahabat terpilih aku, Asep Syaeful Iman. Dia bukan type lelaki yang cuma sweet talker atau cuba menjaga hati ku kalau aku buat silap. He ever said this to me “you are the most idiotic person” when I keep making mistakes for sticking with a wrong man. Bukan sebab dia mahu aku tapi sebab dia mahu menyelamatkan aku. 

You know when you can never hide or lie to your own true friends. He is one of them. Even by afar (dia orang bandung), he can always know that I’m not alright. Even when I say “I’m ok”. He would say “you’re a bad liar”. I always ignored because I thought what can be done by being afar. But I was wrong, he always be there to tell me the words I need to listen, not the words I want to hear. 

Orang selalu fikir kalau seorang lelaki dan perempuan tidak akan dapat menjalinkan merely a friendship. But he proved me wrong. Well, some of my true friends proved me wrong. For example Kamarul Hafiz Tang too. 

So yea, thanks Apep for always be there for me. Stood by me during my ups and downs. Hope to see you soon.  

He said this.

Kita tidak kehilangan sahabat, kita hanya belajar mengenali mana sahabat yang sesungguhnya. Sebab sahabat adalah keluarga yang dipilih.

He is my keluarga yang dipilih. Signed off.

Depression

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Rest In Peace Chester

Kematian beliau mengingatkan aku berkenaan post Kekuatan aku hari tu. As I told, people will never understand your struggles because they are never on your shoes. Depression isn’t easy to bear.

Post ini bukan untuk mengenang kematian beliau. Tetapi untuk mengenang ‘hidup’ nya beliau dalam hidup aku. I knew the band called Linkin Park (LP) when I was 15 and started to go insane about them since 2002. It’s almost 15 years of insanity.

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Cerita awal bulan ini. See, how we missed him even before he left.

Mengenang waktu remaja aku, aku merupakan die-hard-fan LP sampai tahap aku tidak membenarkan anak-anak buah aku mendengar lagu lain kecuali lagu LP sahaja. Sehingga menghabiskan duit beratus ringgit hanya untuk membeli poster LP dihadiahkan kepada anak buah aku , Ayie. Anak-anak buah aku dibesarkan dengan lagu-lagu LP. Sampai tahap Ayie minta piercing di telinganya, just like Chester. No, he didn’t get it because he’s a muslim. Haha!

Aku banyak belajar Bahasa Inggeris dari lagu-lagu LP because I wanted to sing along and sing like them. So yeah, thanks LP. Thanks to you Chester.

Asep Syaeful Iman kata “LP is no longer LP without Chester”. You will be missed, all time, Chester.

Bagi yang masih mencari kekuatan dalam mengharungi dugaan / depression, seek for help. I found mine. 

Okay la, aku nak keluar lepak sat. Bersama kesayangan. Signed off.